Common Name: Yagate Kimi ni Naru
Alternative Names: Bloom Into You; Eventually, I Will Become You
Score: 6/10, 4/5
Length: 13 Episodes
Genre: Romance, Drama, Yuri, School Life, Slice of Life, Grimdark
Summary: Yuu has long been a fan of romances and love songs and the idea of falling in love, yet has never managed to summon those feelings everyone talks about. Even when confessed to by one of her friends in middle school, she felt nothing. Now in high school, Yuu hears word of an upperclassman, Nanami Touko, loved by many but turns down everyone who confesses to her. Hoping to get advice on how to properly turn down someone else's feelings, Yuu seeks out Nanami only to end up getting roped into the student council in the process. What's more, Nanami goes so far as to confess to her just as Yuu works up the courage to finally giver her friend her answer. Yet, that confession doesn't necessarily lead to a happy ending. Yuu still doesn't get that feeling everyone talks about when he's around Nanami. While Nanami, for deeply personal reasons, only seems to be interested in dating Yuu because she's incapable of returning her affection. So, together, the two of them begin to explore their less-than-typical relationship and what each might gain from this loveless relationship.
Review: To say my feelings toward Bloom Into You are "complicated" is probably an understatement. I have a great many feelings regarding this show. Some of them are good. Many are not. In fact, my initial reaction to this show was to drop it and not bother with what I initially pegged as an unreasonably edgy yuri romance. Yet, after some encouragement and insistence that I stick this one out, I watched it to completion and have since been in a constant state of confusion regarding how I should feel about it. I'm not particularly willing say my initial reaction was wrong but it wasn't necessarily correct either. Much like Charlotte before it, I'm honestly of two minds about this show. On the one hand, I have a great many reasons to take issue with what this show does. On the other, I hear why so many others like it and I can't find myself really disagreeing with them. So, over the course of this review, I'm going to attempt to weigh both sides of this work that somehow manages to be both an amazing expression of the queer experience and one of the most offensive, exploitative messes I've ever watched.
Though, to be blunt, most of my issues stem from a single character.
So, that said, let's start with the basics of the show and dissect things from there. From the word "Go," Bloom Into You is built to be a bizarre kind of bittersweet romance in which many things can and do go wrong but also a relationship between two very different people. Primarily, the show's story is told from the perspective of three different characters who are all obsessed with but struggling with love in some capacity. The first of these characters is the show's naive but accepting lead, Koito Yuu, who has been obsessed with love as a concept for a long time, as most young girls are, but has never actually fallen in love with someone. At the show's start, she is in a position where she actively yearns to experience the sensation of falling in love (the quickening heartbeat, the blurring of thoughts as hormones start to go wild, the rush of blood to your head) but only ends up feeling worse for that desire. Because she hasn't experienced that specific feeling, she struggles to relate to her friends and classmates who have all either gone through that experience before or are currently under its influence. In that lacking, she honestly feels isolated and begins to question whether or not there might be something wrong with her.
A bit obvious, visually, but this one moment sets the tone for her troubles very well.
Yet, just as soon as these thoughts enter her mind, Yuu hears word of another girl in her school who has turned down everyone who has ever confessed to her, boys and girls alike. Believing that she and this girl might have something in common, Yuu seeks out this mysterious upperclassman that the whole school seems to love. Thus we are introduced to the character of Nanami Touko, a girl whose situation is, in a way, compatible with Yuu's but very different at its core. Following the sudden and tragic death of her sister, Nanami has taken on the burden of keeping her sister alive by essentially becoming her. Undergoing what I can only describe as a disturbing blend of survivor's guilt, idol worship, and an almost incredible inferiority complex, Nanami presents herself as the confident, perfect, and infallible person that her sister was to her. In doing so, though, she puts a massive toll on her own psyche as all her issues meld into a kind impostor syndrome that constantly reminds her that she is, in fact, a very different person than the deified version of her sister that exists in her memories. So, having functionally created two personas within her, Nanami becomes a walking contradiction that simultaneously wants: the world to worship the sister she is impersonating, her weaker self to vanish, someone her weaker half can lean on when she inevitably starts to buckle, and someone who will never fall in love with her real self. What that collection of desires ultimately ends up being, though, is an individual who people adore but turns away everyone that approaches her romantically for fear they'll learn who and what she really is--an impostor.
Now, don't worry, if that wasn't enough to get your head spinning,
wait until you hear where this all leads.
So, believing Nanami to be someone that might understand her lack of romantic feelings for other people, Yuu seeks her out under the pretense that she's helping the student council, in which Nanami is the Vice President, as they prepare for this year's elections. Once that work is done, though, and the two are given a moment alone together, Yuu explains her situation and the fact that she has been stalling to answer a confession she received at the end of middle school, hoping Nanami might have the answer to all her problems. Yet, as this odd girl who claims to be incapable of loving someone walks into Nanami's life, she finds the answer to conflict warring between her two halves. She has found someone that will look up to her as she impersonates her sister, serve as a pillar she can lean on when she can't keep up the act, and never fall in love with her in spite of her weakness. So, having found her ideal partner, Nanami simply confesses to her then and there, putting Yuu in a position where she can dare to hope that maybe she'll learn to love Nanami in much the same way she's suddenly fallen for her. Thus the two form a relationship born of misunderstandings and misguided hopes that I can only see ending in misery.
I cannot stress enough that I cannot see any good coming of this.
Unfortunately, considering how many people have fallen for and do love Nanami's outward, perfect persona, it'd be unreasonable to assume that there wouldn't be some drama born of this freshman stealing Nanami away from those who believe themselves to be a better fit for her. More specifically, Nanami's best friend and right-hand-woman, Saeki Sayaka, notices how quickly Yuu has become the center of Nanami's attention when she isn't working. Having carried a torch for Nanami since first laying eyes on her, Sayaka instantly begins antagonizing Yuu and regularly challenges how much she really knows and cares about Nanami. Bitchy as that might sound, though, the show offers a fairly good reason why Sayaka is so aggressively devoted to Nanami. Via a flashback toward the middle of the series, it is made clear in no ambiguous terms that Sayaka is homosexual--as opposed to Nanami and Yuu who gravitate toward each other not because either is a girl but, rather, because of their unique circumstances. Yet, in a cruel stroke of fate, her realization is immediately put into question as her middle school girlfriend calls things off when she graduates, insisting that their relationship was nothing more than an experimental, childish fling. Understandably hurt and confused by this revelation, Sayaka has been plagued with doubt ever since, thinking that her feelings and attraction toward women might just be nothing more than a lingering phase. So, for Sayaka, her sudden and intense attraction for Nanami serves as validation that her feelings are more than just an unnatural, passing, childish phase.
I'll just be honest and admit I hated Sayaka up until this exact moment.
And so, with Sayaka's addition to the cast, all the pieces are set for what may very well be one of the most sexually diverse romantic dramas the anime world has ever known. After all, each member of the main cast is representative of one of the many facets of being present within the LGBTQ+ community. Yuu, for instance, can be recognized under a few different labels that color the perception of her story a little differently. At face value, it's easy to simply recognize her as simply a late bloomer who has not developed enough to really understand what love is. Under this label, her sexuality is obscured to the point of irrelevance while the show goes on to paint her and Nanami's relationship as a lesson in how instant infatuation isn't the only road to love. Rather, over the course of the show, she is seen gradually falling in love in much the same way arranged marriage couples might, opening up the possibility of her being homosexual, like Sayaka. Alternatively, her slow and gradual liking of Nanami could be interpreted as something more akin to the demisexual experience in which love comes from an emotional connection, rather than a sexual one. The label that I've seen most commonly placed upon her, though, is that of the asexual experience. To elaborate, this label is almost immediately recognizable within her experience because of her confusion and frustration at not feeling any kind of emotional reaction when she's confessed to. To compound her initial problems, though, Yuu's asexual label can also be seen in her willingness to just give in to another person's affections and lack of any sexual preferences one way or other. Yet, even that might not necessarily be the best argument given her sexual desires that crop up later on in the series. So, lastly, it is also possible to label Yuu as aromantic, in that she has the capacity to develop a sexual attraction toward Nanami but is still unable to develop any romantic feelings and general dissatisfaction with being in a relationship. This would mean, then, that her defining anxiety would be simply a product of her feeling left out and isolated in a culture that is utterly obsessed with the concepts of romance and love.
Sorry but it's really hard to parse how many different possibilities there are within Yuu's experience.
I apologize if I've messed up any labels or missed any that might better define her experience.
Particularly with the asexual and aromantic labels, a strong case could be made considering there is precedent for both within the series. Though he is a minor character within the show that opts to simply observe others' relationships, Maki Seiji is presented as being both aromantic and asexual. Shunning any and all attraction to others, Seiji labels himself as an other that is interested only in voyeurism. For him, love and romance is a thing to be watched and enjoyed like a performance, rather than something he wishes to engage in personally. As for the rest of the cast, Sayaka's label is the only one that can easily understood since it is very clearly stated without much room for argument. Where Yuu and Seiji deal with multiple, complex labels that can define their experiences, Sayaka's homosexuality is almost refreshing in its simplicity. That's not to say that her struggle is, by any means, simple though. Rather, hers is one that more people might relate to given how she struggles with insecurity and has had to deal with gaslighting from both her ex and her own troubled mind. Where Yuu's tale is one of discovery, her's is one of reaffirmation and validation. What's more, her journey is one that actually sees some considerable growth as time goes on. Noted through both her attraction to Nanami and a later encounter with a homosexual couple (one of whom is actually bi), Sayaka actually ends up finding her validation regardless of whether or not she and Nanami are in a relationship.
By the way, since I've mentioned them, I'm just going to straight up say it: These two are the MVPs
of this entire show. No drama. No nonsense. Just a nice, wholesome relationship.
You've probably noticed by now, though, that I've been dancing around one particular character's sexuality and any relevant labels. So, I'll just be blunt, I have no clue how to deal with the problem that is Nanami. As easy as it might be to label her in a complementary fashion to Yuu since her sexuality is just as ill-defined and murky, none of them really fit her all that well. For one, she doesn't come across as emotionally stunted or a late bloomer due to the intentionality and awareness with which she initiates her relationship with Yuu. It could easily be more feasible to label her as asexual since she doesn't display any particular preference one way or the other--only opting to be with Yuu since her lack of romantic feelings offers a means of balancing Nanami's warring personalities. But there also isn't much evidence to confirm that label either. Similarly, demisexual is a potential label for her but it doesn't necessarily fit since her attachment to Yuu isn't emotional so much as it is convenient. There is, of course, the homosexual label to consider, which is mainly propped up, as I understand it, by her relationship with Yuu following similar lines to those of many young homosexual relationships. Namely, the manner in which she forces Yuu into their relationship is indicative of that same forcefulness noted in Sayaka's middle school relationship in which she was coaxed into the relationship and only to realize later that it fit who she was all along. But, again, that stands on some very shaky and potentially offensive ground. Honestly, there just isn't any good way to label Nanami's experience mainly because it is far too obscured with lies, misunderstandings, and self-repression.
Just saying, it might be a little hard to pin a label on someone who is so unstable that the show feels the need to drop some less-than-subtle hints
that she's legitimately considering suicide.
Unfortunately, that's just kinda par for the course with Nanami in all things. Due to her arc being embroiled in an incredible amount of personal drama and mental issues, it's just hard to deal with her in general, let along in any kind of critical capacity. Put plainly, she's a difficult character to like and, because of that, she drags most of the show down with her. True as it might be that Yuu is the primary perspective character, Nanami functionally exists as the crux of this whole story. From the personal drama to the relationship drama, every aspect of this show ultimately leads toward the goal of solving the problem that is Nanami Touko's mental health issues. But the story doesn't really know what to do with her. Within her own mind, Nanami honestly believes that tormenting herself and agonizing over her inability to emulate her supposedly perfect sister is the right thing to do. Even when the truth comes out that her sister wasn't the paragon of charisma and thoughtfulness she believed, she just stubbornly holds to her path of self-loathing. So, she's obviously unwilling to solve her problem on her own. Yet, as other characters try to deal with her, the issue still doesn't really move toward anything good. Sayaka, for her part, is an active detriment to Nanami's well-being. Obsessed with the perfect Nanami that she fell for, Sayaka just encourages her to continue down her path of self-destruction because that's what her Nanami would want. As for Yuu, she trends toward the polar opposite of that perspective. In the end, she instead opts to set up some elaborate scheme to force Nanami to just give up her charade and learn to be comfortable with her "true," weaker self that Yuu has grown to love. The problem with that, though, is that, for starters, Yuu is by no means qualified to "solve" Nanami's problems, particularly when she isn't even remotely capable of dealing with her own identity issues. Cute as it might be for her to preach the message of "be true to thyself," that isn't going to help when Nanami has grown to despise that "true self."
I'm honestly starting to believe it might be for the best that the show just kinda ended abruptly before
Yuu set her scheme into motion. I simply refuse to believe this ends well for anyone.
So, on the one hand, Nanami ultimately serves to drag the show and the entire cast down into her mire of self-loathing and potential self-harm. Without her drama stealing the light from the rest of the cast who go on wonderful journeys of self-exploration and discovery, I honestly think I would have been able to love this show without reserve. But I just can't get past how Nanami just spends the entirety of the show either being sexually aggressive and manipulative, forcing Yuu into a relationship she has no investment in until she learns just how unstable Nanami is. On the other hand, though, I can see where people are coming from when they say that my negative reaction was intentional. According to this theory, Bloom Into You isn't so much a character story so much as it is an expression of what many first loves are like, particularly within the LGBTQ+ community. Considering how self-absorbed the cast is in their own problems and how they unwittingly harm those around them through their selfish desires, I have no trouble believing that. Especially since the cast is made up of young people who are prone to selfishness and haven't really learned how their actions affect others, I can see the sense in that.
*Groans*
That doesn't really discount my issues with this show though. Regardless of its intentions, I had little reason to like most cast until the show was halfway over. As interesting as it was to explore and consider the labels of sexuality that can be seen here, refusing to actually commit to any of them with Yuu did nothing to make her journey seem worthwhile. As much as I loved Sayaka eventually coming to find validation regardless of Nanami, I still cannot get over her petty, bitchy, ineffectual hatred of Yuu or her enabling Nanami's self-destructive behavior. Part of me wants to love this show and this cast but that fact that another part of me hates them in equal measure ultimately leaves me with nothing. Sure, the show is gorgeous when it wants to flex its artistic muscles and is worth watching in that respect. But I can't honestly say for sure if that level of quality really makes up for the mistakes that fill the gaps between those great moments. So, honestly, I can't say one way or another whether this show is worth watching. If you think I'm way off base when it comes to the way this show handles its cast, by all means, give it a shot and let me know what you think. If my pros and cons listed throughout this review tipped you toward the negative, though, I can't say I blame you for wanting to avoid it like the plague. Either way, I'm sure there are other, potentially better things to watch out there than this mess of a show.